My friend advised me, however, that I was risking my credibility by continuing to indulge my interest in glamour photography. I was informed that I could lose many of my allies and my sources if they were to find out that I have, yes, taken pictures of ladies without their clothes on, and have a website featuring that photography. 

Many of my allies in the conservative movement are devout Christians, I was told, and view anything like that as "pornography," pure and simple, and would reject me and all my work out of hand because of that.

And Heaven forbid should I ever consider something like running for office – I could never, ever get the support of any God-fearing person as a “pornographer.”

Now, I have a view of what does and does not constitute “pornography.” Not everyone shares it, and I accept that.

I find glamour photography to be a beautiful and artistic thing, and I approach it that way. While I’m known as a “bikini photographer,” I have taken some semi-nude and nude photos. My photos do not show women spreading themselves apart, nor is there ever any sexual contact involved. I think that kind of photo is base and tasteless, I consider that to be “pornography,” and I simply won’t do that.

But I was advised that perhaps it is my interest in glamour photography which is responsible for my continued poverty, that people see that side of me and run the other direction. I should stash that interest away and concentrate on the things that my friends and allies consider to be acceptable pursuits.

I got to thinking that my friend might be right. If I were to curb my interest, deny what I believe, maybe I could find a new career and finally achieve a little success.

I could, for example, get into politics. Maybe get elected to Congress, where I could then develop an interest in meeting other men in public restrooms. Or maybe I could author new, tough, anti-porn legislation to protect our children, while I diddle congressional pages. 

If successful enough, I could get away with driving off of bridges when I’m drunk and killing people—and never have to pay a price for it, because then I’d be important and God knows, the public has a short memory.

Or maybe I could take my view of religion to the next step, and start my own church. I’m a pretty good public speaker, and if I got myself a toupee I might even become a televangelist and make some REAL money. 

Then I could spend it on lavish mansions, or in buying off congregation members with whom I’ve had sex, or maybe even in some Louisiana hotel room after hiring a prostitute to urinate on me. I could then stage a comeback by crying on TV and people would send me millions more dollars.

It’s well-known among my neighbors about shower time that I’m musically inclined, too. Maybe I could become a rapper and beat the crap out of one of my groupies and get vast amounts of publicity to promote my next album. Or I could invite the underage groupies up to my hotel room and have a little fun, then jet off to Europe to escape prosecution and be welcomed as an artistic hero.

Some of my friends, as my friend noted, are very devout people. They have their own precepts of Christianity, some of which I share and some of which I do not. I do not, for example, believe that priests or saints need to intercede for me before my God, but both my wife and many of my friends are Catholic. 

I was born and raised a staunch Baptist. I have since become an agnostic, but I still consider many Baptists to be good friends of mine even if I do not share their beliefs on subjects like alcohol and homosexuality. I do my best to understand their beliefs and to respect them.

While it’s true that shutting down my online magazine and turning my camera to other, more “normal” uses might give me a measure of credibility and respectability that might in turn lead to some eventual financial success, for me to do so would make me no different than the hypocrites I have challenged all my life as a journalist and as a citizen. I cannot live a lie by suborning what I believe just to be able to “fit in.”

I’m an eclectic coot. If there are folks who can’t get past that, I am truly sad, because to me a true conservative isn’t someone who resists change, it’s someone who takes the time to fully research an issue and consider all the angles before taking a position, whereas liberals go with whatever emotion happens along first.

And if that means I’m stuck in a run-down apartment eating ramen noodles and working at a minimum-wage job just to pay the bills for the rest of my life, well, that’s what has to happen. If you can’t be true to yourself, who can you be true to?